August third.
It is an insignificant date apart from one thing.
Somehow, for the past nine years of my life, I have written on that date to my future husband about how shocking it is that the years tick by so fast.
It was coincidence for the first few years, but after I realized the pattern, I began making it a "thing". I smile as I think of continuing the habit, if I should end up marrying this un-named person, in person. We could have a celebration, or pity party (depending on what mood we are in), either celebrating or mourning the passing of the years.
I'm not exactly sure how August third became the date, likely because my birthday is only a few days prior, and it had finally sunk in that I just turned nineteen, twenty, twenty-one (that was a big one!).
This year probably scared me the most though.
Twenty-six. Over the twenty-five hill... rolling straight toward thirty.
I should have just taken my big sister's example and stayed twenty-four. That way I could live in denial, and just not think about how old I am getting. :)
When I was a young teenager, I used to fear becoming older. Especially remaining single and becoming older. I would pray the prayer "God, please let me be married when I am young!", because I didn't think I would be able to handle being an "Old maid".
In my naiveté, I saw marriage as a given blessing that I deserved before I could become lonely.
What I didn't count on was the blessing of being single.
What I didn't know what that I needed to be single.
Of course, God did. And He slowly revealed to me the blessing.
What saddens me is to hear of, or see people become so desperate to have that family, to have the life that they dream of, to find a man or woman to share their life with that they just marry the first one that comes along.
They spend their single years waiting, instead of actively doing the things that becoming married, and having a family will take away.
There is no perfect life. I'm not saying that one is better than the other, but what I am saying is that I have found joy, and fulfillment in making the most of the season I am in.
I am not the person that I was when I was eighteen. Through my single years, God has taken deep root in my heart (I would dare any guy to try to uproot Him!), He has become the foundation, the first and the last, my beginning and my end. I wouldn't have had that if I had married as the unstable eighteen year old that I was.
Not to say at all that marrying young is a bad thing. But for me, marrying young would have been a bad thing.
I am grateful for the opportunity that I have as a single woman to grow, mature, and become rock solid in my faith. To have all things stripped away, and have my focus solely on Him, without the distraction that I would have being a wife and mother.
Again, it's not that one or the other is better, it is just that I have learned to be grateful of where I am right now. To not waste moments pinning away for the life that I dream of. To not prematurely dive head first into that life because it is something that I want, instead of what God wants.
It is a little strange to have watched my most of my friends get married, and begin families of their own. And yes, a little frightening to know that the kids I used to change diapers on while babysitting are now graduating from high school, and getting married themselves.
But I realize that life won't slow down. Life will continue on. I can't stop myself from turning the age that I am.
What I can do though, is make the most of every single moment.
I can be single, and own it!
So, hi. I'm twenty-six now.
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