Choosing to Forgive

Forgiveness.
That word alone holds a bounty of freedom in it's choosing.

When you have been wronged, it is easy to hold on to the pain, bringing it up in your mind over and over again so that you stay angry, turning the people that have hurt you into monsters in your mind.

Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.  Ephesians 4:26+27 asks this of us.

The question then is, am I turning hurt into hatred? Am I confusing anger with bitterness? Am I holding on to this wrong doing to cause my offender the same betrayal that I experienced?

With the recent celebration of Easter, the words that Jesus spoke while He was dying on the cross have been circling my mind. "Father forgive them, for they don't know what they do."
I always saw this a Jesus himself forgiving them for what they were doing to Him. But, he was rather showing his forgiveness by asking His father to do the same. As God in heaven was watching His Son die on the cross for our sins, that's got to be the height of all offences right? Watching the innocent die for the guilty. Allowing injustice to be played out for the benefit of the undeserving.

Having recently watched an innocent that I love being stabbed by the sword of hatred and bitterness, I can understand on a comparatively minuscule scale of what God must have felt watching His son being crucified.

I don't want to forgive. I would rather hold out and punish those who have wronged our family.
But to be a follower of Jesus, I need to release it.

I need to let go and forgive.
I can do this without confronting, and rubbing salt in the already gaping wounds.
Jesus didn't. He just forgave.

My Rock, My Fortress

Trust. A small word that can be so profound.
I've been learning a lot about trust these past couple of weeks.

It is easy to say that you trust God, until you come to an event, or experience in your life that creates a bleak outlook.
Worry threatens to overtake you, and stress builds up until you think you could scream.

I have found myself often on the lap of God, begging Him to help me believe in all that He is. To hide His love, truth, and promises so deeply in my heart that no amount of hurt, or fear can dig them out.

Though these have been tough days, I wouldn't trade them for a place back in my comfort zone. The love and peace that I have found have far outweighed the hard 'stuff' that I have faced.
Truly, God is our rock and our fortress. He is a God that I can trust in, and I don't think I have ever really known that until now.
Until my world was shaken.
Until my heart was broken.

People say that God uses the hard times in our lives to draw us closer to Himself, and you know what? It is true.
During this hard time, I have bowed at His feet with a greater realization of His sovereignty. A greater appreciation of His kindness and love toward His children.

Though the waves seem like they will overtake us, they instead will sweep us closer to His heart.

I am thankful to serve a God that works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

I am thankful that no matter what I face, I can trust Him.