The Me You Made

My struggle began when I took a good look at myself one day and decided that I didn't like me. I thought that I was undesirable, and that no-one could possibly love me the way that I was. I began walking the destructive road of change.

It would have been okay if the change I was trying to make was one that would create a better version of who I was. But that wasn't the case, I was trying to be an entirely different person.

It took me a couple of years of heading in the wrong direction to begin learning the lesson, the one that I am still learning.

The lesson is this. God made me who I am for a reason. He didn't make any mistakes when he was forming my personality, my character, the person that I am. He wants to use me as He created me for the special life that He planned for me to live.

When I tried to change who I was, I was not only robbing myself of my purpose, but I was also robbing the people God placed in my life of the person that He placed in their lives.

When I began to embrace all that I am, all my flaws, my gifts, even my annoying quirks, I found true joy. I no longer struggled with depression and heartache. I became closer to my family and friends, because I was finally being the person that they loved again.

God has a purpose for every single human being that He created. To live life without that purpose, thinking that we need to change in hopes that we will find love and acceptance is an empty life to live. I still struggle sometimes with believing that God would want to use someone like me. I argue with him from time to time asking Him how He could want to take a blonde, crazy, scatterbrained, struggling woman like me and trust me to go about His work.

Romans 9:20 says;

But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, “Why have you made me like this?” 

If I truly believe that God is sovereign and that there is no fault in Him, then I ought to embrace who He made me to be. I am His precious masterpiece. I am worthy to be used by God, because He said so.

Yes, continue to work at being the best version of yourself for Christ. Just make sure that you are still being you. He loves you the way you are because He made you to be that way.