I've got to be honest. Tonight I have been looking online for journaling prompts because the inspiration just isn't with me right now. Only about a week into writing this online journal and already I have experienced writer's block.
This leaves me wondering, should I really be doing this? Is this really something that is going to be beneficial or is it just another one of those ideas that I get so often, the kind that don't work out.
I mean, it is crazy right? I already have a blog that I have a hard time writing on a maximum of once a week, and here I am trying to start a new blog... writing once a day?
Yet, somehow I just cannot let this idea go. Maybe that is what this whole mini adventure will become for me, learning to let go. Learning not to plan my own adventures, but to leave my plans in the palm of God's hands. Or maybe it will be a lesson on humility, coming to an understanding that it is okay to sometimes be bad at what I love to do. Or it could be part of my journey in letting go of control, becoming one that can live by faith moment by moment.
It may seem like such a small thing, this blog. But it is really the first thing that I have embarked on alone. I am quite used to the support that I have in my life. I have become accustomed to reassurances, talking things through with my friends or family. Even those affirming "likes" or kind words of encouragement from those that are only acquaintances, or those I have never met.
But no one knows. I have not talked to anyone about this. I have not asked anyone if they think this is a bad idea.
And it kind of terrifies me. This is new to me.
Every time I press that publish button it takes a little bit of faith. It is a new venture for me to write and post without thinking about what the response will be. To force myself to create sentences on those days that I don't feel like it.
Maybe some of you can relate. Is there something in your lives that you are unsure of, but are doing just because you have an inkling that God might be calling you to do something that scares you? I am not going to give up yet, come what may. At least, not until I hear clearly that it is time to let go.
Will you?
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