Never Alone

It is hard to imagine that I could feel lonely, living a home with my very large family. I guess there is a difference from being alone to feeling lonely.
Today, because of a few circumstances, I was feeling a touch lonely. And a familiar feeling began to overtake my emotions.
I was transported back to a time in my life when I was overwhelmed with the feeling of being all alone. Alone to struggle.
I remembered the heaviness in my spirit. I remembered crying myself to sleep. I remembered screaming and pounding my fists of the barn door as I was resisting being swallowed into that dark hole, the place of no return.
I also remember singing/crying these words as a desperate prayer.

I have You, to take away the pain that I feel.
You take my broken heart and heal.
You fill me up, show me Your true love.
I have You, to give me hope when mine is gone.
Forgive me when I've done wrong.
When I am weak, then I'm strong, and in You I will always belong.
I have You, to bring me through.

 I was holding on for dear life while my hands worked, creating a rhythm with streams of milk.
Though it took a long time for me to find freedom from that bondage, the light began to overtake the darkness in that moment.
For the first time in my life, I was truly beginning to realize that even if I feel completely alone, I am never alone. And even if I can't feel God in those moments of despair, He is there, waiting for me to stretch out my arms in the direction of my loving Father's embrace.

He carried me through those moments, He never let me go.